Last night I was in a prophetic service with Carol Pikini. I’ll admit that I went more to see how she did things than because I was expecting to hear something from God.
Now, usually when there’s a prophetic minister around, I get called out, but she called on almost everyone around me and was closing service without prophesying to me. As part of the close she was saying that she would like to come back and spend the whole night prophesying to people – that sometimes the prophetic ministry goes until 2am.
It was only 9:30, so I looked to my friend sitting next to me and I said, “Then why is she stopping now?”
Ten seconds later, Carol Pikini, who couldn’t possibly have heard me, turns to me and says, “I need to go, but I don’t want to leave you out, before I leave I want to minister to you.”
She asked my name and her next question was the tough one… “How long have you been a Christian?”
I froze. That’s a hard question to answer. My thoughts start running through the truth and trying to figure out how to answer her in front of the whole room full of people who have known me and my family for all of my life, but weren’t intimately acquainted with the things I’ve struggled through.
“A good one?” was my reply.
Everyone started laughing, including her then I admitted I was first saved as a child and had a couple of “test runs” – but the last three years have been incredible. She proceeded to share what God showed her about me.
(Just in case you’re wondering, the word she gave me was, in a nutshell, Jesus loves me so much and God is going to bring about changes in my life within a year from now which will bring great freedom.)
I’m still thinking about what the best answer to her question would be, though.
I got saved when I was 4 years old. I meant it. I did my best to live it, too. But I got dealt a few really tough cards and I ran from Him instead of to Him. I guess the technical and good Baptist term is backsliding.
Today I was talking with a friend of mine, who was at the service last night. There’s a passage of scripture, 2 Timothy 2:11-13 – especially verse 13, which talks about the spiritual state I was in during those years of struggling. I honestly believe that even though I was running from Him, He was unwilling to let me go. I tried to ignore Him, but I was always aware of His hand on my life. I even asked Him to leave me alone, but He wouldn’t.
Verse 13 says, “If we are faithless [do not believe and are untrue to Him], He remains true (faithful to His Word and His righteous character), for He cannot deny Himself.” [AMP]
I know that God treats me no better than He treats His other children. Although I’m not Baptist, or anything else for that matter, I do believe once we’re truly saved, we’re always saved. Although I still pray for them, I don’t worry about my friends who are “living in the world” and not serving God anymore. He’s got them in His hands. He’s not leaving them alone either. Once His Son takes residence in someone’s heart, He doesn’t leave. Jesus keeps loving and waiting patiently for the day He can rule and reign there again. In the meantime, God doesn’t turn His back – because He can’t deny Himself – His Son.
My friend doesn’t agree with the argument of “once saved, always saved” so we’ve been debating the scriptures. In the same passage, verse 12 says, “If we endure, we shall also reign with Him. If we deny and disown and reject Him, He will also deny and disown and reject us.” [AMP]
I believe there’s a huge difference between “deny and disown and reject” and “faithless [do not believe and are untrue to Him].”
“Deny and disown and reject” is a conscious act. I can’t accidentally disown Jesus any more than my parents could accidentally disown me. I don’t think that I could sin enough to qualify for this level of rejection. Even parents who abuse their children may lose custody of them – but without a conscious act they do not disown their children. And really, isn’t “deny and disown and reject” about identity? It’s a denial of “who” a person is.
Which brings me to “faithless [do not believe and are untrue to Him]” – a very good description of sin. Honestly, I sin all day long – even when I’m doing my best to serve God. Is my salvation at stake every time I sin? How about every 7th sin? Or is it the 490th sin? Should I walk around getting saved all day long just to make sure I don’t die “in sin” and go to hell? What about the sins I commit that I don’t even realize are sins? I have to believe that once I accept Jesus’ sacrifice for my sins they no longer have the power they once had – unless I consciously reject Jesus’ sacrifice. That’s the power of the blood of Jesus.
Does that mean that I don’t need to repent? Of course not! We should always be willing to go to God and repent for anything we do that grieves Him. But I don’t need to fear that my sin is more powerful than the blood of Jesus.
Safely and often, in spite of myself, in His hands,
Amey